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The Truth About The “Nice Guy”

May 26, 2009

“I’m a nice guy, I don’t get why girls don’t like me!”
“Women only like “bad boys”, that’s why I’m still single.”
“My lack of proper hygiene and socially inept personality are definitely not the reason women don’t like, it’s because I’m too nice.”

Dear “Nice Guys”,

Despite what you may think, you are actually not a nice guy. Comforting a girl when she is sad, and then getting angry when she doesn’t hop on your dick is not being nice. It’s being creepy. Buying a woman drinks in a bar and then listening to her problems until she makes out with her ex isn’t being a nice guy, it’s being a skeeze. Complaining about your crush’s “d-bag” boyfriend isn’t “looking out for her”, it’s being jealous. You creeps are the reason MsTaken was invented.

“But why do they always go for the BAD BOYS when they say they want a nice guy?!”

It’s because most of the time, these “bad boys” have a personality, take showers (with soap!), and don’t spend their nights playing World of Warcraft with cheeto dust in their neckbeard. Women will take a “bad boy” who has a life outside of worshiping her over a “nice guy” who wakes her up at 3am by calling her “just to hear her voice.”

“Women WANT to be treated like shit! That’s why they hate nice guys!”

No, its because a woman’s idea of a good time isn’t having you mouth-breathe next her during a Star Wars marathon in your parent’s basement as you awkwardly decide if you should touch her boob or not.

“But I gave her everything, and she still dumped me, that heartless bitch!”

Leaving roses in her bedroom while she’s on vacation and you aren’t dating is not giving her everything. It’s breaking and entering.

“But I’ve always been such a good friend to her, why doesn’t she want to take the next step?”

Because you probably creep her out, or she just doesn’t like you that way, or she doesn’t want a boyfriend. Don’t assume that just because you are kind to her she should like you. There are multiple factors that contribute to a relationship. You wouldn’t just date a woman because she was kind to you, right? There’s her morals, values, friends, job, location, looks, intelligence…okay!

The bottom line: Nice guys, stfu please. We don’t care if your dick is made of solid gold and you want to buy us expensive dinners, if you’re going to call yourself nice and bitch about how women don’t want you because of that, fuck off.

Note: Please be aware that there are “nice guys” and then there are nice guys. Just because you don’t have a girlfriend, doesn’t mean this is article is about you! If you are deeply offended, then it probably is about you ;)
Comments closed due to 4Chan being angry about women.

  1. Tevis permalink
    May 26, 2009 9:26 pm

    Did you just start this? How many “nice guys” do you know who have shitty hygiene? Figured that would be something they would go for. Anyway nice post, curious as to what caused you to write this. Seems like at that moment you were angry at a self proclaimed “Nice guy”. lol.

    • Tegan McRae permalink*
      May 26, 2009 9:30 pm

      Thanks Tev. Lol, I’m not mad at any men, but the “nice guy” syndrome has always been a pet peeve of mine. This post is based on someone we both know, but I’ll text you the name instead of posting it :)

  2. Shelly permalink
    May 27, 2009 8:11 pm

    Love the post. Absolutely, positively love it. I knew “nice guys” (in my youth) who really believed that calling me at 3 am just to hear my voice was a good idea.

    • Tegan McRae permalink*
      May 27, 2009 8:29 pm

      Haha, shows just how much the world doesn’t change!

  3. July 22, 2009 6:20 pm

    Thanks for the comment Tegan! That’s definitely why we were invented.

  4. Creep permalink
    March 2, 2010 7:40 pm

    I’m starting to think creepy is just a girl’s way of saying ugly. I have no clue what women expect me to say, but whenever I talk, they accuse me of being creepy. What’s with that?

    Also, I do show, and I don’t play world of warcraft, but I don’t see how it matters if it’s on my own time.

    • Tegan McRae permalink*
      March 2, 2010 8:02 pm

      Well maybe you’re a nice guy then. You do realize this is a humour blog, right? I am talking about the “nice guys”, not the nice guys. These are the guys who are bitter at the world because they try so hard to get women and then the women don’t like them for whatever reason. Sorry if you took this to heart, man.

  5. Creep permalink
    March 2, 2010 7:43 pm

    *I do shower, I meant to say.

  6. Adam permalink
    March 2, 2010 7:57 pm

    Women don’t like unattractive men. That’s really all it comes down to. What you’re like on the inside really doesn’t matter. And yes this goes for men too. The only frustrating thing is that women refuse to admit this.

    “Ew, you see that creepy guy trying to hit on me?”

    He’s not creepy, he’s just doing something every guy does. If someone you were physically attracted to did the same thing, you would be interested.

    • Tegan McRae permalink*
      March 2, 2010 8:04 pm

      I disagree! As a woman, I have turned down both unattractive and attractive men who use the same tactics to get women. Yes there are girls out there who will swoon for the jerk simply because he’s hot, but not all.

      Women are complicated creatures.

      • Adam permalink
        March 2, 2010 8:19 pm

        “As a woman, I have turned down both unattractive and attractive men”

        You’ll forgive me if I’m very, VERY skeptical of this.

        “Oh yeah, he was hot… but… he’s just too dorky. Hot men throw themselves at me all the time so I’ll just wait for something better to come along.”

      • Tegan McRae permalink*
        March 2, 2010 8:26 pm

        I have never been relationship focused, so many times I turn down a guy because 1. If I know I’m not going to sleep with him or date him, I don’t want to lead him on. and 2. I don’t want to deal with relationship building. I had other priorities in my life so why waste my time?

  7. blargh permalink
    March 2, 2010 8:11 pm

    I think Adam has it more right.

    Yeah there are some pathetic creeps who tried to blackmail girls into sleeping with them by just generally being doormats (I blame feminism for that), but most of the time the creeps do the same thing the studs do, they’re just uglier.

    I should know ’cause before I worked out and had my teeth fixed I was thought of as a ‘nice’ guy too. Amazing what a thicker neck and even smile will do for you.

    Basically it’s DJ Qualls (google him) vs Brad Pitt.

    • Tegan McRae permalink*
      March 2, 2010 8:14 pm

      I’m sorry if that’s been your experience, really. A lot of this post is actually about a very attractive man who thinks he is a “nice guy” but his personality is shit, so women don’t like him.

      I apologize for the girls who have treated you badly!

      • blargh permalink
        March 2, 2010 8:19 pm

        Honestly I’m not bitter about it at all. I’m saying girls treat me great now, so I’m just bitter about lost time. I grew up on the same bullshit and chips about women being different and non-visual, but come on. If I had known earlier I would’ve had better teen years is all.

      • Tegan McRae permalink*
        March 2, 2010 8:25 pm

        Well I’m glad you aren’t bitter anymore (am I reading that right?). We all experience bad encounters with the opposite sex. I’m sorry that all yours were with women who are extremely focused on looks, really. But like how not all guys are after a hottie, neither are all women.

        If you want to keep talking, you are welcome to email me. I’ve closed comments because I can’t keep moderating bigoted and sexist comments from 4Chan.


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