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If Facebook Was Reality

June 17, 2009


What would life be like if Facebook was reality?

-“Poking” someone would be a lot more awkward.

-Puking in a toilet in your underwear just wouldn’t be as funny as it seemed in the photo.

-Constantly knowing what your freshman year science partner is doing would be a lot more irritating, especially when all he talks about is  his car and his favourite Simpsons quote.

-Hitting “ignore updates from this person” would work much in the same way the “you’re dead to me, I’m ignoring you” clause works.

-De-tagging yourself from embarrassing photos would be comparable to Alzheimers disease. “Weren’t you making out with that fat guy in the kitchen of Dave’s house?” “Nope, not me.”

-Divorce courts would be obsolete, simply just change your status from “Married” to “Single”.

-No more “getting to know you” talks on dates, reading pre-made profiles is sufficient.

-Myspace would be the equivalent to foreign countries. Illegal immigrants would be 14 year old Jr. high kids who like to write bad poetry and mail chain letters.

-Making new friends becomes much easier, as you’d receive an updated “suggested friends” list every month in the mail.

-No one would ever see you looking ugly again. Only best-angled and most-flattering-lighting versions of you would be available.

-That said, no one would ever see you from a view that wasn’t from 5 feet above your head.

-My dog would have more friends than I do.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 5, 2009 10:21 pm

    ha ha ha, i wish i could untag myself from a lot of things the way i do in facebook!

  2. pistaye permalink
    February 27, 2010 7:46 pm

    LOL! That’s pretty true.

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