10 More Types of People You Meet in College
This post is a continuation of the 10 types of people you meet in college, posted last July.
10. Stupid Catch Phrase Guy
“My hands are wet” “That’s what she said!” “What?” “Lulz”. Stupid Catch Phrase Guy usually isn’t very bright or charismatic, and doesn’t even have much of a personality, but that’s okay because he can easily cover all that up with internet memes and tired jokes. He usually spends his day trolling web forums, making funny cat pictures in MS Paint, and watching reruns of Family Guy. On Facebook, SCPG often has nothing insightful to contribute to conversations, so he only says “epic”, “win”, “fail” or “FML”.
9. The Double Minor Guy
College? Sure, I guess. This is the mentality of Double Minor Guy. He did OK in high school, and decided that a university was probably the next step. He thinks philosophy and 17th century French literature is cool, so he chooses them as minors. 8 years later DMG is pretty satisfied with his decision, despite that his credits indicate he’s still a college sophomore. He’s OK with mediocrity and under-achievement, and will likely go on to work a weird job unrelated to both his minors, such as professional circus clown, or strawberry organizer.
8. The Geek Chic Girl
Hanging out in the computer lab or library, Geek Chic Girl is easily recognizable by her decorated MAC laptop, thick framed designer glasses, geeky shirt, and collection of Palahniuk and Vonnegut literature. GCG is a self-proclaimed nerd, totally obsessed with like, computers and comics and stuff! However in actuality, GCG’s only comic-world knowledge comes from the X-Men movies, and she can’t tell the difference between Firefox and Chrome. GCG craves attention, and will flaunt how ‘unique’ it is for a GIRL to know about Schrodinger’s Cat.
7. Awesome Asian Guy
Awesome Asian Guy is a unique breed of student. Often raised in a strict environment, he has spent his past 18 years balancing the workload of AP classes while being a pretty cool guy and maintaining a nice social life. Released into freedom at college, he is now an expert at balancing classes and parties. AAG is awesome because his idea of pre-gaming is taking a shot of Bacardi for every finished essay paragraph. AAG makes not only the ideal lab partner for his relaxed but smart nature, but also the perfect beer pong partner for the same reasons.
6. Absolutely Crazy Girl
She’s at every sorority mixer, football game, and ABC party. She’s got over 500 tagged photos of herself on Facebook, and about as much gossip written about her on The Dirty. She’s absolutely crazy girl, and goddamn, can she party. Beer bongs? Child’s play. 3 day drinking binge while making a cross-state road trip? Sure! Flash the bartender for a free drink? Is there any other way? ACG is crazy (crazy fun? crazy alcoholic? you decide) and doesn’t care who knows it. She came to college for 1 reason, to have the time of her life, and no liver failure is going to stop her! ACG can often be found on a bathroom floor, mumbling something about being glad she wore underwear this time.
5. The Bitter Guy
Negative Nancy’s best friend, The Bitter Guy, can be found sulking in his dorm room listening to Death Cab For Cutie and playing Everquest. Bitter Guy is angry at the world. Angry that he only got to be 5’6″, angry that his favourite jeans ripped, angry that the people next door are having so much fun and he’s not. Bitter Guy hates the world for all it has not given him, and often has an egotistical I-Deserve attitude toward life. When he isn’t bitching about life on his Twitter, he can be found reluctantly going to parties only to stand in the corner and moan about how its unfair that jerks always get girls and the Nice Guys don’t. Bitter Guy either ends up realizing life ain’t so bad, or dieing alone.
4. The Girl Who Can’t Get Past High School
Make no mistake, this girl easily got accepted to college, however her mindset has not adjusted since the sophomore year. Still focused on gossip, what other people are wearing, and who made the football/cheer team, this girl doesn’t seem to realize that once she leaves her tiny high school community, no one cares about her shallow fixations. People are often turned off by her neediness to constantly judge others and her endless stories about what so-and-so was like in high school. Eventually GWCGPHS will realize that there is more to life than he-said she-said talks, and will live a normal college life.
3. The Debater
The Debater is absolutely convinced his beliefs are right, and is happy to tell you what he thinks rather than explain or discuss. The Debater will take -any- opportunity to voice his opinions and eagerly wait for someone to dare to say contrary. The Debater can often be found at his computer, furiously typing message board posts to demean the 13-year-old kid in Canada who thinks Wolverine could beat Batman. The Debater will come to sad realization one day when someone finally says, “Dude, no one cares.”
2. The Never Too Old To Learn Lady
After 30 years, she’s finally going back to get her degree, but the problem is she doesn’t realize how much has changed. Armed with years of experience in odd-jobs and family raising, NTOTLL is eager to learn. Often extremely nice and respectful, she makes acquaintances easily, who unfortunately end up spending much of their class time helping her open up Microsoft Word or showing her how to send an email.
1. Totally Average Guy/Girl
Taking up the majority of college campuses, your averages Joes and Janes go through life on exceedingly average paths, crossing in and out of the lives the other 19 college stereotypes. While not the most memorable, the Averages are usually happy, content, reasonably smart, and at least moderately successful. Maybe not quite what everyone aspires to be, but certainly nothing to frown at!
Be sure to check out the original 10 types of people you meet in college!
Note: Please bare in mind these stereotypes are for fun, and not meant to be offensive or taken seriously.