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Glee Is Making Your Kids Gay

August 29, 2010

Do you know what the worst television show to let your kids watch is?

No, its not Jersey Shore. Its not 16 and Pregnant.

Its GLEE. Because its full of singing homosexuals. And its teaching your children how to be singing homosexuals. And Stephenson Billings of ChristWire.org is exposing the truth.

Billings writes, “…the ethical and social risks that Glee poses are so severe that it is unworthy of a home on a national network.” Not social risks! Wait, what are the risks of watching Glee again? Oh yeah:

“Sexuality, sports, and showtunes.”

Billings complains that there are too many musical numbers. Too many songs being performed on a show that is about musicals and singing performances. Also, the songs are too good and too professional sounding. Did you hear that!? Glee is going to make your child believe they can be good at something, and Billings is not having that!

What’s even worse than inspiring children to take part in the arts? Homos, of course. Billings argues…I don’t know, something about how the Golden Girls and Glee are making people gay and hate Jesus. What’s really important is how this will shape America:

How many middle-aged men will find themselves in a dead-end Glee-based lifestyle? Will they be ostentatious and sensitive, their dreams smashed up against a wall crying out to have that giant hole in their souls stuffed with some musky foreign thrill? Will they be violating what’s left of our traditional cultural landscape with unimaginable high-tech perversions, drenching, nay drowing the bright young men of tomorrow in their relentless sauces of net porn and showtunes, maximized liberties and stem-cell party drugs? Will male sports just become an excuse for gay locker room orgies?

NOT GAY LOCKER ROOM ORGIES!!!

(Fashionable) Gay Terrorist.

Do you hear this, America?! If you let your children watch “Jewish Rachel” or “Artie, Wheelchair” (as Billings lovingly names the characters) your kids will start singing showtunes in the locker room orgies, or something.

Billings would be most worried about gay football orgies, as he was himself a high school football athlete. But now, he’s moved on from the world of tackling other men, and is some sort of child entertainer according to his Facebook. He also writes about rabbits raping cats and how this can make your kid gay too.


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11 Comments leave one →
  1. August 30, 2010 2:31 am

    Gay locker room orgies? Sign me up for sports! Wait, do I have to be male?

  2. njking permalink
    September 9, 2010 7:14 am

    Dear TM, male sports, locker room orgies. Have I missed something. What about female sports, have you ever seen the spectators that fill the seats at a Phx Mecury game or walked in any downtown area in Maricopa County after the sun goes down. I think that American Idol has already beat Glee to the finish line for influencing adolecent homo-erotic behavior. Thank Ryan Seacrest for and the high pitch ‘queer eye for the straight guy’ Idol champ for that bowel movement. Thanks, and let me know your status on the election piece so that I know what page I need to be on… I have been preoccupied with waxing the other pieces, but I am near completion. Keep it clean–NJK

  3. September 10, 2010 4:54 am

    This would explain my oldest son. I feel pretty bad about it, too. But I really, really like Jane Lynch.

  4. September 12, 2010 5:09 am

    Oh my lord. Thanks for this post. I hadn’t seen this article, and it’s out of control! Just the sort of thing that gets me whipped up. Now that i know Glee poses a severe social and ethical risk, i’m compelled to actually watch it. i can’t wait to get gay from it.

  5. Maggie permalink
    September 25, 2010 11:37 pm

    I always figured christwire was a satire site. Seriously if “Katie Perry Tries to Expose Her Lesbian Milksacks on Sesame Street, Denied By Christian Protest” is to be taken seriously, I am so done with the interwebs.

  6. October 16, 2010 7:38 am

    Funny that how a TV programme can make a child gay… Like its really a choice that you make! That makes me laugh, I absolutely love glee, but I know LOADS of homos that hate it! AND don’t like musicals! And really.. Rabbits raping cats? Glees great and has probly done mor for america in terms of INSPIRING youth today with originality and creativity! Yeah its trashie- but that’s why we love it!!!

  7. Kaycee permalink
    November 3, 2010 7:45 pm

    Well then guess I’ll be a gay religion hater soon, but oh well, glees great! <3

  8. December 1, 2010 8:15 pm

    well, GLEE is the best musical tv series out there, nice characters and nice songs .,*

  9. JJ Houck permalink
    February 26, 2011 9:03 am

    christwire.org is a satirical site meant to satirize Christian right-wing sites much like The Onion satirizes news sites.

  10. Gleek permalink
    March 10, 2011 7:06 pm

    Glee is a great tv-show. And being gay is not wrong!

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