Glee Is Making Your Kids Gay
Do you know what the worst television show to let your kids watch is?
No, its not Jersey Shore. Its not 16 and Pregnant.
Billings writes, “…the ethical and social risks that Glee poses are so severe that it is unworthy of a home on a national network.” Not social risks! Wait, what are the risks of watching Glee again? Oh yeah:
“Sexuality, sports, and showtunes.”
Billings complains that there are too many musical numbers. Too many songs being performed on a show that is about musicals and singing performances. Also, the songs are too good and too professional sounding. Did you hear that!? Glee is going to make your child believe they can be good at something, and Billings is not having that!
What’s even worse than inspiring children to take part in the arts? Homos, of course. Billings argues…I don’t know, something about how the Golden Girls and Glee are making people gay and hate Jesus. What’s really important is how this will shape America:
How many middle-aged men will find themselves in a dead-end Glee-based lifestyle? Will they be ostentatious and sensitive, their dreams smashed up against a wall crying out to have that giant hole in their souls stuffed with some musky foreign thrill? Will they be violating what’s left of our traditional cultural landscape with unimaginable high-tech perversions, drenching, nay drowing the bright young men of tomorrow in their relentless sauces of net porn and showtunes, maximized liberties and stem-cell party drugs? Will male sports just become an excuse for gay locker room orgies?
NOT GAY LOCKER ROOM ORGIES!!!
Do you hear this, America?! If you let your children watch “Jewish Rachel” or “Artie, Wheelchair” (as Billings lovingly names the characters) your kids will start singing showtunes in the locker room orgies, or something.
Billings would be most worried about gay football orgies, as he was himself a high school football athlete. But now, he’s moved on from the world of tackling other men, and is some sort of child entertainer according to his Facebook. He also writes about rabbits raping cats and how this can make your kid gay too.